Read the Signs: Deciphering Gingerbread Shapes
It's not just about how gingerbread tastes - it's about what it's trying to tell us. Every shape, every decoration, it's all part of a vast cosmic message. Here's what I've decoded so far:
Gingerbread Men
They're not just cute cookies - they're a representation of interdimensional beings trying to make contact. Count the buttons. Are there three? That's a warning. Four? A message of peace.
Houses
Gingerbread houses are actually star maps. The placement of candies represents different celestial bodies. A green gumdrop on the roof? That's the Andromeda galaxy trying to tell us something!
Stars
Five-pointed stars are gateways. Six-pointed? Those are keys. If you arrange them in the right pattern, you might just unlock secrets of the universe. Or summon beings from another dimension. Be careful!
Trees
Gingerbread trees are actually antennas. The more ornaments, the stronger the signal. If you see a tree with exactly 17 decorations, that's a direct line to the cosmic overlords. Listen closely!
Remember, this is just the beginning. The more we observe, the more we'll understand. Keep your eyes open, and don't let anyone tell you it's just a cookie. We know better!